I sometimes forget to check in on n-gate’s Webshit Weekly posts for a while and am thrilled when I remember again.

WhatsApp loses millions of users after terms update:

The Grauniad reports that Whatsapp, a computer program with billions of users, has lost millions of users. For some reason, the article does not mention that last week I dropped a quarter and it rolled under the refrigerator, which is the same story. Hackernews recognizes that nothing in this article is worth reading, but likes to explain to one another the concept of a “network effect,” which is a phenomenon wherein nobody can talk about users of a social media platform without some asshole adjusting a pair of Warby Parkers and linking to some essays on medium dot com substack dot com about “the network effect.” Most of the rest of the comments are people mistakenly believing that anyone on earth gives a shit what protocol their chat app uses.

I love how they refer to a person as “An Internet”